So you can’t bring yourself to get one of those gushy Hallmark cards for your mom this Mother’s Day. Maybe the black eye her wacko boyfriend gave you while she watched Twilight in the other room hasn’t quite healed yet. Maybe you have to deliver the mother’s day greeting to her in residential rehab. Or maybe you’re in the grips of teen-aged angst and you’ve been reading too much adolescent psychology and you’re sure all those parenting books she diligently followed have damaged you forever. Maybe you’re nearly forty and you still haven’t cut the umbilical cord and you resent the hell out of it. Maybe your mom is perfectly fine and you’re just too full of shit to realize it. Whatever. THIS CARD IS FOR YOU. Just cut it out and give it to her. Oh hell, that’s too much work, isn’t it? Just send her the URL. (Gag written by Pulitzer nominee Jo King.)

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